[26 May 2007]
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its just so hurtful.
11:18 PM
[25 May 2007]
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STUPID ME. STUPID GWEN.
I know saying all these now is like so useless, because it already happened. I've never felt this bad..this guilty before. I feel so bad, hurting my friend like that. I said to myself before that I will treasure every friendship and give my best whenever I can. But I didn't do that. I can't even keep a simple promise. What kind of friend am I? I dont have the courage to face this friend anymore. I've broken the trust he/she had in me... Now I'm thinking if I should even have told the truth. That I have broken my promise. But no, I don't want to do that. I dont want to live in denial or whatever, and start this thing that I'm your perfect friend. I wont tell your secrets out. What's wrong with me. Usually I can do it if I know it cant be told. But why wasn't I able to then?
I really really hurt my friend. I don't know what to do now. I don't know whats wrong with me.
I know saying all these now is like so useless, because it already happened. I've never felt this bad..this guilty before. I feel so bad, hurting my friend like that. I said to myself before that I will treasure every friendship and give my best whenever I can. But I didn't do that. I can't even keep a simple promise. What kind of friend am I? I dont have the courage to face this friend anymore. I've broken the trust he/she had in me... Now I'm thinking if I should even have told the truth. That I have broken my promise. But no, I don't want to do that. I dont want to live in denial or whatever, and start this thing that I'm your perfect friend. I wont tell your secrets out. What's wrong with me. Usually I can do it if I know it cant be told. But why wasn't I able to then?
I really really hurt my friend. I don't know what to do now. I don't know whats wrong with me.
10:01 PM
[23 May 2007]
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Its such a great disappointment.
FIRST TIME BEING ANNOUNCER! (:
It was definitely a great experience. A big thank you to Mr.Nathan. It was fun, though scary! Haha. But its like something that few will experience. Like, for example, leading the college to say the college pledge! Cool! Even though I could only hear the choir today. Haha. And I'm so sorry to the chess club! I wasn't laughing at you guys seriously, I was laughing at myself.
I was trying to take a picture of Theodore sleeping. His face is damn funny I tell you. But Mr Seah called him and he woke up. ....
This was the survey we have to do today. So many things!
ANN NEE! So serious!
Thanks guys. You two were there when I needed to destress, and everything. But you guys really piss me off sometimes! And, is that Hanrong acting cute? OH MY GOD. (:
FIRST TIME BEING ANNOUNCER! (:
It was definitely a great experience. A big thank you to Mr.Nathan. It was fun, though scary! Haha. But its like something that few will experience. Like, for example, leading the college to say the college pledge! Cool! Even though I could only hear the choir today. Haha. And I'm so sorry to the chess club! I wasn't laughing at you guys seriously, I was laughing at myself.
Anyway I'm in my "camera" mood this week!
I was trying to take a picture of Theodore sleeping. His face is damn funny I tell you. But Mr Seah called him and he woke up. ....This was the survey we have to do today. So many things!BUDDIES! (: LOVES AND HUGS.
Thanks guys. You two were there when I needed to destress, and everything. But you guys really piss me off sometimes! And, is that Hanrong acting cute? OH MY GOD. (:11:51 PM
[20 May 2007]
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We did it. Our last performance at NAFA. Some people might not like it, some people might like it. But they didn't experience the months of tough trainings we went throught, as long as we think AND believe we did it, WE DID IT. Thanks Dansez-Le, for making my life in NYJC a fulfilled one. For making me love dance even more. For making me feel that everything's worth it. Our journey never ends.
I don't mind dancing contemporary. In fact, I'm starting to like it. But somehow, I still don't find it my style. But one thing's for sure. I will continue my passion for dance. I wont stop dancing. (:
Thanks everyone who came down! And once again, I'm really sorry for making you guys wait! It was a really important performance. It was not only to let you watch us perform, but to feel the hard work and all that we've gone through. Because you guys are important to us.
(Please send me all the dance photos, DANSEZ-LE!)
9:34 PM
[18 May 2007]
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Stupid Blogger. I don't know what's wrong but I have to type my entry all over again.
We just finished our last training. Tomorrow will be our last performance. DANSEZ-LE, thank
you for everything.
Anyway, thanks for everyone's concern! I'm really alright. Its just for a while, that's why in the first place I wrote "Let me be emo for awhile" because its really just for a while! So no worries alright! (: Thanks again!
GP Presentation today. So sorry guys. I know it was too long. I should have shortened the whole thing. But he wanted research mah! So that's what I did. Haha. Okay, maybe too much. Anyway I'm done with it! YES. No more gp project and I can focus more on studies.
I just received the birthday card from my class. Its really heartening to see all the birthday greetings even though it might not mean much to others. Thanks alot, 0619.
This week... has been exhausting (again). Its more of a mental thing, although there is the fact that I have been sleeping at only 12am or 1 am plus these few days. The horror of test weeks. I think I'm going to flunk all. Anyway, back to mental tiredness. This past year, I have been constantly drained. Studies, Dance and other issues to handle. Its so powerful that I have never felt this tired before. Its not something that you can just sleep and be alright again. Its a cycle. Somehow I'm glad that everything is coming to an end, because I can finally be free. But then again, I'll really miss all these. And, I'm still not getting back on track. Ugh.
I've never thought I'm someone who wanted such simple things in life. I always thought I wanted more. I guess all those will just be bonuses for me. Its not what you get, but what you have. And I would really like to say thank you to some people (you know who you are) because you guys gave me what I really wanted. THANK YOU.
We just finished our last training. Tomorrow will be our last performance. DANSEZ-LE, thank
you for everything.
Anyway, thanks for everyone's concern! I'm really alright. Its just for a while, that's why in the first place I wrote "Let me be emo for awhile" because its really just for a while! So no worries alright! (: Thanks again!
GP Presentation today. So sorry guys. I know it was too long. I should have shortened the whole thing. But he wanted research mah! So that's what I did. Haha. Okay, maybe too much. Anyway I'm done with it! YES. No more gp project and I can focus more on studies.
I just received the birthday card from my class. Its really heartening to see all the birthday greetings even though it might not mean much to others. Thanks alot, 0619.
This week... has been exhausting (again). Its more of a mental thing, although there is the fact that I have been sleeping at only 12am or 1 am plus these few days. The horror of test weeks. I think I'm going to flunk all. Anyway, back to mental tiredness. This past year, I have been constantly drained. Studies, Dance and other issues to handle. Its so powerful that I have never felt this tired before. Its not something that you can just sleep and be alright again. Its a cycle. Somehow I'm glad that everything is coming to an end, because I can finally be free. But then again, I'll really miss all these. And, I'm still not getting back on track. Ugh.
I've never thought I'm someone who wanted such simple things in life. I always thought I wanted more. I guess all those will just be bonuses for me. Its not what you get, but what you have. And I would really like to say thank you to some people (you know who you are) because you guys gave me what I really wanted. THANK YOU.
11:22 PM
[13 May 2007]
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I'm so exhausted.
I just realise one thing. For this whole term, I can chiong all the way I can for schooldays. But as the weekend approaches, I just slack for the whole day. Sighs.
Went for the thing yesterday. I guess I'm not used to it, plus the fact that it's so not me. I cant regret it now. I guess I'll just take it as a part-time thing. Due to what happened yesterday, I realised that this is not really what I want. I thought I will love it. But no. I didn't, really. Its not there for me to have fun and stuff. I realised I just want to be me, a normal teenager studying and loving the things she's doing.
I just realise one thing. For this whole term, I can chiong all the way I can for schooldays. But as the weekend approaches, I just slack for the whole day. Sighs.
Went for the thing yesterday. I guess I'm not used to it, plus the fact that it's so not me. I cant regret it now. I guess I'll just take it as a part-time thing. Due to what happened yesterday, I realised that this is not really what I want. I thought I will love it. But no. I didn't, really. Its not there for me to have fun and stuff. I realised I just want to be me, a normal teenager studying and loving the things she's doing.
5:15 PM
[11 May 2007]
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Just let me be emo for awhile.
The things that bother me every once in a while. It just hurts when something you wish or hope for doesn't happen no matter how much you have put in. It affects me whenever I see people having them. Its not that I'm not happy in life. I am, and I know I must cherish every single thing I have. I didn't treasure them in the past, but now I'm doing all I can to show I really treasure. My deepest sadness that no one knows.
OTHELLO was pretty good! Even though the language was difficult to comprehend, I still enjoyed the whole play. I thought that the last scenes were good, and bravo to all the people involved. i think OTHELLO has been a success (:
The things that bother me every once in a while. It just hurts when something you wish or hope for doesn't happen no matter how much you have put in. It affects me whenever I see people having them. Its not that I'm not happy in life. I am, and I know I must cherish every single thing I have. I didn't treasure them in the past, but now I'm doing all I can to show I really treasure. My deepest sadness that no one knows.
OTHELLO was pretty good! Even though the language was difficult to comprehend, I still enjoyed the whole play. I thought that the last scenes were good, and bravo to all the people involved. i think OTHELLO has been a success (:
11:44 PM
[08 May 2007]
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I CAN WATCH OTHELLO! (:
Support our dear vanessa and finally, I get to catch some Nanyang concert/event on a Friday night. You see, I missed "The One", the one that I wanted to catch sooo badly. Bai Yun Gang 2007, and some other events. Haha. YEAH. I'm happy happy.
GP tuition started at 4 today, so we went walking around a little after lunch. And today's another "seeing-so-many-people-coincidentally" day. Well, not really. Only two. Haha. UNCLE! Haha. He's still the same as ever. Eh, you think everyday is exam day in NY? Haha. Then I saw Justin. Yup.
Oops. Got to go study chemistry. Tomorrow shall be a slack day, but I have to wait for 3 and a half hour for dance.
Support our dear vanessa and finally, I get to catch some Nanyang concert/event on a Friday night. You see, I missed "The One", the one that I wanted to catch sooo badly. Bai Yun Gang 2007, and some other events. Haha. YEAH. I'm happy happy.
GP tuition started at 4 today, so we went walking around a little after lunch. And today's another "seeing-so-many-people-coincidentally" day. Well, not really. Only two. Haha. UNCLE! Haha. He's still the same as ever. Eh, you think everyday is exam day in NY? Haha. Then I saw Justin. Yup.
Oops. Got to go study chemistry. Tomorrow shall be a slack day, but I have to wait for 3 and a half hour for dance.
11:14 PM
[07 May 2007]
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Its another school week ahead. I'm trying to get back on track, and I think I achieved that today. Well, for one thing, I managed to follow my usual routine of at least reading the newspaper everyday and starting on my work after bathing and all that (:
NYJC's Dansez-Le will be performing! Please do support us! More details will be given soon (:
NYJC's Dansez-Le will be performing! Please do support us! More details will be given soon (:
9:08 PM
[06 May 2007]
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NEW BLOGSKIN! (:
I took about 2 hours doing this. Such a great achievement. Haha.
Went back to NBYN again, but this time as a different role and in a slightly different environment. Well for one thing, half of the staff when I worked there is gone. They renovated the make-up room, which looks much neater. And well, the feeling is still the same.
Photoshoot was FUN, especially trying to make my daddy smile. The moon will be blue if he smile. But he DID! Haha. I think I'm starting to like taking photoshoots. But then I just can't smile for long. The sides of my mouth will tremble. HAHAHA!
Photoshoot was FUN, especially trying to make my daddy smile. The moon will be blue if he smile. But he DID! Haha. I think I'm starting to like taking photoshoots. But then I just can't smile for long. The sides of my mouth will tremble. HAHAHA!
I think the consultant attached to us must be very frustrated, having to handle such a hyperactive and naughty nephew of mine. Haha. Lucky I wasn't the consultant this time. But I think all in all, everything went fine. We have to go back for another shot again - we decided to just have one look then go back again. My nephew was too naughty - HARD TO HANDLE.
PHOTOS:
12:02 AM
[04 May 2007]
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The week went fine. Nothing extraordinary happened, I guess. The only missing thing was dance. I feel abit weird not carrying my shoebag on wednesdays and fridays. I wonder how it would be like when we really step down.
Midyears coming really soon, I got to get on track. Currently in the situation of rushing to complete tutorials - not because they are due but its more of "chiong-ing" tutorials. Haha. The thing went alright, but I still lack the confidence. I wonder what will happen that day and subsequently other days.
I don't want to think about it. But I somehow still do. Is it because I'm _________________________ ? or because I'm just _____________? Sighs. I guess this is the sacrifice. Making happy will make me ___________ ! As long as I know all these are for the good of ________, its worth it. THIS IS THE SACRIFICE. I CHOSE IT.
Midyears coming really soon, I got to get on track. Currently in the situation of rushing to complete tutorials - not because they are due but its more of "chiong-ing" tutorials. Haha. The thing went alright, but I still lack the confidence. I wonder what will happen that day and subsequently other days.
I don't want to think about it. But I somehow still do. Is it because I'm _________________________ ? or because I'm just _____________? Sighs. I guess this is the sacrifice. Making happy will make me ___________ ! As long as I know all these are for the good of ________, its worth it. THIS IS THE SACRIFICE. I CHOSE IT.
11:23 PM
[01 May 2007]
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Hey. I'm much better now, I guess. It just takes time.
Anyway, 30th anniversary was quite a blast! Dansez-Le conquered the stage, all by ourselves! (: Even though there were some problems at the start, we managed to put up a good show! And there was such a crowd that day. So many ex-NYJCians and so many of their families. Mr Tong came, but Wanteng and I didn't catch him. Haha. He's super tall so he should be quite distinctive. But too bad, he left pretty early. And we got to eat the food in the hall! Yummy yummy. They had like chocolate fondues, laksa, mee siam, buffet-style, tako pachi and lots more! NYJC is rich.
19th may shall come, and i'm sure this will be the best show ever.
i live in my own world, and you live in your own world.
i have to get on track.
Anyway, 30th anniversary was quite a blast! Dansez-Le conquered the stage, all by ourselves! (: Even though there were some problems at the start, we managed to put up a good show! And there was such a crowd that day. So many ex-NYJCians and so many of their families. Mr Tong came, but Wanteng and I didn't catch him. Haha. He's super tall so he should be quite distinctive. But too bad, he left pretty early. And we got to eat the food in the hall! Yummy yummy. They had like chocolate fondues, laksa, mee siam, buffet-style, tako pachi and lots more! NYJC is rich.
19th may shall come, and i'm sure this will be the best show ever.
i live in my own world, and you live in your own world.
i have to get on track.
9:01 PM
